The Ultimate Jedi Who Wastes All the Other Jedi and Eats Their Bones is a song by the Mountain Goats. Rian Johnson uploaded it to Soundcloud on January 30, 2017.

Lyrics[edit | edit source]

Stay true to the path young Jedi,
Cleave to the precepts you’re given.
Remember those who went before and cleared a way for you,
Let your deeds give hope and comfort to the living.
Let your deeds give hope and comfort to the living.

Do your best in city or in swampland.
Peace over anger, honor over hate,
At the end of all your days one Jedi waits for you
With the dust of Jedi bones piled high like parsnips on his plate.
With the dust of Jedi bones piled up like parsnips on his plate.

Specifically just their bones,
All the soft parts you can keep.
“It’s the bones that have the calcium”, so he says.
The long feast will be filmed for mass consumption;
The cameras Rian’s got these days are unimaginably high-res.

Despair not for the end that waits for you,
Fear not the fire in which your flesh must burn.
All the Jedi from all the planets in this putrid universe
Get eaten by this last one and now it’s your turn.
They get eaten by this last one and now it’s your turn.

Bones, bones, bones, bones, bones.
Bones, bones, bones, bones, bones.
The ultimate Jedi who wastes all the other Jedi has eaten up all their bones.
All their bones, bones, bones, bones, bones.

Comments by John Darnielle About this Song[edit | edit source]

"all right so I see that while I was doing a phone interview some of you noticed this already but you may remember on Friday I was joking around with @rianjohnson about his big Star Wars news, and the joke was "have you then rejected my song?" whose title, at that point just an of-the-moment joke, was "The Ultimate Jedi Who Wastes All the Other Jedi and Eats Their Bones." @rianjohnson responded, right here on twitter dot com: PLEASE WRITE THIS. Who am I to turn down the guy who directed "Ozymandias"? Not me, not this guy. I set to work immediately. It is important that the world learn the truth of this Jedi. But where to host? I don't know if y'all know this but a lot of people are into Star Wars. So I wrote to @rianjohnson, and I'm like, here's the tune, right. and he's like "Should I put it on my Soundcloud?" And I'm like "rest up, do that on Monday!" So here's the song. Enjoy!"

—from Twitter

Things Referenced in this Song[edit | edit source]

Jedi

Live Shows this Song Was Played at[edit | edit source]


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