Heel Turn 1

Heel Turn 1 is an unreleased song by The Mountain Goats. The song is a comical lament made by a "face" wrestler, who has been "good" his whole life and is finally tempted to the dark side just to stay standing in a battle royale. It was written for Beat the Champ, but was not recorded for the album.

Lyrics[]

The ushers and the guys who chuck the popcorn 
They feel the rush of stillness in the air
They turn toward the ring from where they're standing
I'm just lying there
But I prop myself bolt upright on one hand
And I pull up on my haunches and I face the crowd
The guy who knocked me down has got his back turned
In comes the great grey pestilent cloud

I, I, I'm not gonna die in here
I, I, I'm not gonna die in here

Work hard to be a hero all my life
Always try to turn the other cheek
And save my closed-fist punches for the ones who throw them first
Always show some mercy to the wounded and the weak
Always help a guy back to his feet
Always help old ladies cross the street
I watch my guardian angel leave the building
I am my only friend
One thing about the good guys that I've noticed
They always beg for mercy in the end

And I, I, I'm not gonna die in here
I, I, I'm not gonna die in here
I, I, I'm not gonna die in here
I, I, I'm not gonna die in here

Comments by John Darnielle About this Song[]

In 2015, Darnielle said that he was still trying to remember all of the lyrics, so he needed the assistance of a lyrics sheet on stage. He also prefaced the song by defining what "heels" (bad guys) and "faces" (good guys) are in professional wrestling, how it's easier for a face to turn into a heel than vice versa, and how there's a little heel and face in all of us. (2015-04-18 - Vic Theater - Chicago, IL)

Things Referenced in this Song[]

Live Shows this Song Was Played at[]

Videos of This Song[]

2017-05-23 - Cannery Ballroom - Nashville, TN